Episode 84: KB Tells All: When Your Birth Plan Doesn't Go According To Plan
This week, KB is sharing all about how Benny B made his entrance into the world! She's giving us the behind the scenes details of how her birth plan didn't quite go how she imagined, in the hopes of encouraging other mamas out there who may have had a similar experience. Whether you're a new mom, a seasoned mom, or not a mom at all, her story reminds us all that even when our plans don't pan out, they're still filled with beauty and grace.
It’s incredibly surreal to be sitting here on my (full-sized) bed writing the story of my baby boy’s entrance into this world. He’s napping right next to me, and I truly wish all of you could hear how he barks like a yippity little dog in his sleep. It’s a sweet little yip, almost as sweet as the last six weeks of his baby life have been, but, Ben’s birth story begins far more than six weeks ago and far before his anticipated due date…
Just a few weeks before Ben was due to be born, Tom and I made our way to yet another doctor appointment, this time with a task at hand: to decide how I was going to deliver Ben. Or at least plan for the best way to deliver him. At that point in my pregnancy, some time in the late third trimester, the sonographer was measuring Ben to be about eight pounds or so, and my doctor had reason to believe that she was not wrong. So, I was given the option to be induced or schedule a c-section. Because Ben’s size was the concern, Tom and I decided to forego induction and put a c-section on the books. After all, inducing labor does not make a child any smaller, and I would’ve hated to labor all day and all night only to have my boy born via section. If you listened to Episode 75 of our show, then you know that I aimed to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth and had just scheduled a very medicated, not vaginal birth. You can imagine my disappointment. Fast forward to Ben’s due date, July 21st, and he was showing no signs of exiting my body anytime soon. In fact, at my 39 week appointment, my doctor very casually mentioned that she couldn’t feel “the head.” Um, whose head? Ben’s. Ben’s head. So his due date came and went, and we made it to the morning of my planned c-section. I spent my time getting ready for the hospital by listening to a playlist that I made to “labor” to should my body go into spontaneous labor. That morning though, I feel like I did labor: not physically, but mentally and emotionally, preparing for Ben’s birth. Bags packed and car loaded, that same playlist filled the spaces in the car that my baby boy would sit in just four days later on our way home from the hospital we were headed toward, just three hours away from his birth.
At this point, things began to get a bit foggy. Tom and I arrived at the hospital, checked in, and got settled, and no sooner had I put on my gown and socks than a multitude of nurses poured in and out of the labor and delivery room. I was hooked up to so many things, afraid to move, but could hear my boy’s heartbeat on the fetal heart rate monitor and could see my ever so tiny contractions on the contraction monitor. The fact that my contractions were so very small solidified that I was maybe doing the right thing by having Ben via c-section. The door to my room continued to revolve, and about thirty minutes before my schedule surgery, both my anesthesiologist and OB came in to say “HI, we’ll be cutting into you but don’t worry you won’t feel it it will be fine.” But you guys! As soon as they left and Tom suited up in his gear, it was go time.
The rules at our particular hospital are that husbands are not permitted in the operating room until anesthesia has been administered and is working, so Tom and I had to say goodbye for a brief moment. As it turns out, the anesthesia was what I was most nervous about, and my husband couldn’t even be there to comfort me. Instead I relied on and hugged on Tina, the sweet nurse who was with me from registration until postpartum. The anesthesiologist didn’t lie when he said that the administration of the anesthesia would feel like a tiny bee sting, but good news: I survived. All that was needed now was my OB and Tom… From the time they came into the room until Ben was born was approximately ten minutes, and those ten minutes were some of the best in my life. My body was cut open, pushed on, tugged, and my boy was born big and healthy, screaming his lungs out. All nine and a half pounds of him. I could not have been more in love than I was then except for that my love for him has continued to grow beyond what I knew possible.
Sure, Ben did not enter this world in the way that I would want him to. He wasn’t born naturally. He was born via the powers of modern medicine by the wisdom of the good Lord. I would do it over and over and over again to hug and squeeze and love on my little boy. I hope you remember that too… Not just with your children’s birth stories. But life. Man, it doesn’t go the way we want it. Can I get an amen? But it is still good.