Episode 28. Be a Good Citizen: What Would Dwight Do
Here at The Kitschy Kountdown, we’re into helping you, listener, navigate the perils of this life. And that’s exactly what this episode is all about! In the spirit of Dwight Schrute, we give you the rundown on the exact ways in which you can best interact with others day in and day out. Whether it be traffic pointers or taking the elevator just one floor, we’ve got you covered. You’ll never commit a social faux pas again. And make sure you’re following along with us on Instagram kitschykountdown
Alright, people, listen up. You know that awkward moment when you’re walking down the hall heading directly toward someone and the “which way do I go” shuffle ensues? Let’s set the record straight to avoid this dance for all time: stay to the right and veer more to the right as the other person approaches you. STAY IN YOUR LANE!
Studies show that most highway accidents are caused by lane changes. Thus, if you are driving in the left lane going five or ten miles under the speed limit, people are changing lanes to get around you, therefore causing more accidents. If you just MOVE OVER to the right hand lane, traffic would move much faster and lives will be saved. Drive in the right lane. Save a life.
Let’s cover the rules of using your blinker: #1 Turn on your blinker in a timely fashion. Not two turns too early. Not at the last minute. Give you road-mates appropriate warning. #2 Don’t keep the blinker on for a mile (or a minute) after you’ve already turned or switched lanes. Again, use your blinker correctly, save a life.
If you are making an unprotected left turn (which you shouldn’t be doing) get on the shoulder, find a turn lane, or go a little bit further and use a light. Again, studies show it’s faster (and safer) to make all right hand turns than making left hand turns, so really, you’re doing yourself a favor.
If you are waiting to get money out of the ATM, ease the fears of the person (KB) in front of you and don’t pull up too closely behind them. This could make said person feel nervous that you’re going to steal all their money or their pin code and result in unending anxiety. Just leave some space.
Unless you are physically unable or are carrying lots of heavy things, do NOT take the elevator up or down one floor. Save yourself, and other elevator patrons, some time and boost those endorphins by taking the stairs.
You know the scene: you’re chit chatting with your BFF Jill on the phone and suddenly, the call is dropped, or one of you accidentally hangs up. Avoid the game of phone tag and follow this simple rule: the one who made the initial call is the one to initiate the call back.
When you’re on an airplane, and you’re in the back of the plane, there is NO need to immediately stand up upon landing. No need. You are not magically going to get off the plane first. You are going to bottleneck traffic and stress out the people sitting next to you. Sit patiently, check your phone, and wait your turn. Same goes for boarding the plane. Wait your turn.
If you suffer from excess hair loss in the shower and you put it on the wall, throw it away. Don’t leave it as a not-so-fun surprise for the next shower taker.
You’re walking into Starbucks and turn around to see someone behind you walking up to the door. What do you do? Hold the door? How far away is too far to hold it? Lemme tell ya: if the person in 10 steps away or less, hold the door. Also, if you make eye contact, hold it. Same goes for elevator etiquette. Side note: if you see a person holding the door for you, giddy up and show some hustle trying to get there. Don’t mosey on over to the door or the person has permission to slam it in your face.