Welcome to the Kitschy Kountdown - where we provide our thoughtful opinions on all of life's intricacies.

Episode 17: You’re Going To The Chapel: But You’re Not Getting Married

Episode 17: You’re Going To The Chapel: But You’re Not Getting Married

Wedding season is upon us! As tenured wedding guests and recent brides, we’re sharing all we’ve learned through both of these roles in order to make your wedding guest experience the best it can be. We may or may not get a little heated in this episode as we discovered our passion for talking all things wedding. Love it or hate it, following these tips are sure fire ways to place yourself in the wedding guest hall of fame.

Here’s What You SHOULD Do:

  1. BYOS (bring your own snacks) if you know the ceremony is going to be long. Pick an opportune time to open said snack, preferably not during a quiet moment, and maybe don’t pick the noisiest snack (think: a crinkly bag of potato chips). Nevertheless, packing a light snack can be the perfect cure for post-ceremony, pre-dinner hanger.

  2. RSVP, ya’ll. Especially if the food is determined by headcount, it’s so important to let your hosts know if you’re going to make it or not. Weddings are not like a weekend group hangout where you can “play it by ear”, pick a lane, and stick to it. Let’s all commit to RSVPing in 2017.

  3. Buy. From. The. Registry. Don’t think you know the couple so well and take the liberty of picking out decorative items for their house or assume they need yet another cookie sheet. There is no shame in gift cards, either. The newlyweds will thank you when they can use their gift cards to buy the Kitchen Aide mixer they really want. However, if you think gift cards are tacky and simply can’t be bothered to pick out something on the registry, go in with some other people to buy a communal gift, big or small. Side note: Target gift cards are ALWAYS a safe bet.

  4. Arrange transportation ahead of time. Whether it be an uber, a hotel shuttle, a taxi, or driving yourself, make sure you can not only be dropped off, but also be picked up. Check the hotel shuttle schedule to make sure you don’t miss the last call, and make sure you have transportation arranged if you plan on imbibing during the reception. Also, ensure that your ride doesn’t become mistaken for the couple’s getaway car, as this could cause much confusion and stress.

  5. Get on up on the dance floor. Dancing is what makes weddings SO FUN and not only will it contribute to you being more entertained, but it’s also gratifying for the couple to see their guests enjoying themselves.

Here’s What You SHOULD NOT Do:

  1. Don’t take iphone pictures during the ceremony. If you must take a picture, make sure the flash is off, you’re not blocking anyone’s way, and you’re not being obstructive. But, FOR THE LOVE, have your flash and sound off so as not to detract from the pictures the couple is spending thousands of dollars to have forever.

  2. Don’t ask if you can bring a guest if your invitation doesn’t explicitly say “AND GUEST.” Similarly, don’t invite yourself or assume you’re invited if you don’t have an invitation. This isn’t a ploy to exclude people, but some brides take the time to make place card settings and your unbeknownst presence could really throw off the seating arrangements.

  3. Don’t wear ill fitting footwear that is likely to slip off your feet in the event you start to perspire. ESPECIALLY if you’re in the wedding and all eyes are on you as you clumsily walk down the aisle.

  4. If you’re not the bride, refrain from wearing a white dress. You can wear white the other 364 days of the year, but maybe take a break just this one day. And be mindful of the event you’re attending, the dress code for a wedding is vastly different than that of a bar crawl.

  5. The day, or really even the week of, the wedding, don’t ask the bride if your boyfriend should wear a tie or what time the wedding starts. This will cause you to contribute to her pre-wedding break out and that’s something you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life. Ask a bridesmaid or someone else related to the wedding, just not the bride.

** Photo courtesy of the ever so TALENTED Jillian Zamora Photography

Episode 18: Love It Or Bucket List It

Episode 18: Love It Or Bucket List It

Episode 16. You Can Do Anything: But You Can't Do Everything

Episode 16. You Can Do Anything: But You Can't Do Everything